I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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