You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
