walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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