I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
