Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
