So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
