id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
