he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dignity is for republicans.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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