Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
