weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
