I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize