So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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