Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
