Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
