I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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