I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize