i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize