I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
