i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize