I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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