She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
