DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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