I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
