Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How does one acquire holy water?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
