Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
