I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
