She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize