I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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