I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
