i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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