how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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