I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
