So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
