Pregnant stripper...not hot.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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