It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She just used a chaser for red wine.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
