I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize