Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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