My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
