No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
