Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
