3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
