The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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