My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
