Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
