and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
