I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
