I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
