Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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