I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
