my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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