ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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