My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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