You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
