No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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