Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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