I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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