hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
