Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
