Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
