I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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