$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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