she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
