Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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