I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
