ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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