He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
