Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
