Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
