so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
